Friday, April 10, 2009

That Phone Call - Extra Cash Insurance

I kept getting phone calls from a 888-665-9900. I'd always answer and there was never a response. Then the caller would hang up. A recent call came on a Saturday morning. Again, no answer. Since it was a toll-free number, I immediately called them back.

I listened to a voicemail message that apologized for my inconvenience, but that they were closed for the weekend. I needed to call back on Monday. I found it odd that they could call me when they are not working, but I couldn't call them. Someone must have left the computer auto-dialer on over the weekend.

They called again on a weekday afternoon. I answered and was surprised when a human actually responded. The sound on the other end of the phone was akin to what you might expect on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. It was EXTREMELY loud which made if very difficult to hear the young lady who was calling.

She asked for someone by name - someone with a name different from my own. From past experience, I knew that if I simply said there was nobody by that name here, that they would presume I had misled them and continue calling with the hopes of reaching their man.

Ducheznee: "What can I do for you?"

Caller: "This is Lisa hfkjf from dfkljas kldjhfs INSURANCE adjfdskl lkjdflka;sdj."

Ducheznee: "I'm having trouble understanding you. There is a lot of background noise."

Lisa: "Okay, I'll call back later."

Ducheznee: "NOoooooooo! [I couldn't let them go now that I'd finally reached a live person.] Did you say something about 'insurance'?"

Lisa: "No, I didn't."

Ducheznee: "I'm sorry. Could you tell me what you're calling about one more time?"

Lisa: "Extra cash jfahskdkjjhdf djfskl dfklsj policy."

Ducheznee: "Extra cash policy?"

Lisa: "Yes"

Ducheznee: "What is an extra cash policy?"

Lisa: "Insurance."

Ducheznee: "I thought I heard you say 'insurance'. So it's an extra cash insurance policy?"

Lisa: "Yes."

Ducheznee: "What does that mean?"

Lisa: yada yada yada

This sounds like an Aflac commercial.

Lisa: yada yada "and if you'll just hold on for a moment I'll transfer you to a new account representative who can get you all set up."

Ducheznee: "Actually, I don't think I'm interested. But thank you for telling me about it."

Lisa: "It is impossible to understand over the telephone. It will just take 30 seconds and we can get your address to send you more information."

Ducheznee: "Well, this sounds exactly like Aflac, so I don't really need your products."

Lisa: [pause] "And, you have Aflac?" (I don't, but I can't tell her that or she'll never hang up.)

Ducheznee: [Diversion - Restating some parts of what I could make out from earlier] "Your policies would provide me with $200/day in cash for each day I'm unable to work, right?

Lisa: "$200 per month."

Ducheznee: "Oh, well then I guess that is not the same as Aflac. They pay a daily benefit for covered claims."

Lisa: [Raises the white flag; there are much easier fish to fry] "jfkjshdklj kljhklsjdf kljkl fjkljkj fklj fsjdf klsjdlfksjdfslfdjl skdjflkjlkfsdkjflj"

[I can't hear a single word, but I think she is wrapping up the call] 

Ducheznee: "Alright. Thank you."

[She hangs up.]

Now my phone number has been marked as a dead end in their system and I haven't heard from them since. 

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