Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Chew Toy

Imagine laboring all day on something that you feel passionate about, only to have its supposed value fall on deaf ears or blind eyes.

Let's say you make Christmas fruitcakes. Your recipe has been handed down from generation to generation. You spend days planning, shopping, baking and wrapping dozens of your prized fruitcakes and give them freely to everyone you know.

Then, when visiting a friend at Easter, you notice one of your fruitcakes being used as a doorstop.

Or that TPS report you worked on for two weeks is tossed immediately to the recycle bin; unread.

Or that nice sweater you bought for your sister has been turned into a chew toy for the dog.

You can probably understand why these musicians are offended.

Turns out their "music" is perfect for "torturing" terrorists. The musicians are up in arms about it, but I'm not sure why.
  1. Are they upset that somebody holds their music in such poor regard that listening to it is considered torture?
  2. Are they upset that the terrorists are being forced to listen to their music as opposed to that of another, perhaps more talented, musician?
  3. Are they upset because they might not be receiving air play royalties?
  4. Are they upset that the terrorists are being made to listen to music as a form of torture, period, as opposed to having being ripped limb from limb or being buried in the Sahara up to their neck with honey poured over their head?
  5. Are they embarrassed that their music is of an inferior quality and they wanted to put up a better showing for the terrorists?
The musicians are 'saying' that #4 is true - that they think each terrorist should be given a six figure salary, a beautiful wife and a house in the foothills. But I'd bet a wooden nickel that the real reason is more like #1 - their feelings are hurt that their music is being used to punish people.

Why not view this as an opportunity? I mean, an entirely new demographic is being exposed to their life's work. If they believe their music is good, why wouldn't they think the terrorist will enjoy it and one day, when Obama sets them free, purchase the album for themselves and their entire clan?

I, for one, think the whole situation is hilarious.

From the military's perspective, I get it. Personally, I could probably handle Pearl Jam for a while, at least until my eardrums exploded. But R.E.M.? Not a chance. Give me the waterboarding, please.

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